Master Commuter: How to blend

So I'm from Guam, a very beautiful island in the Pacific with sandy white beaches and laid back living.  Our idea of public transportation is riding on the back of a carabao (water buffalo) to go from village to village....NOT! Well, sometimes, if you count riding them during our village fiestas.

Well, when I first got to The Chi , the thought of riding the "L" excited and scared me at the same time.  Of course, I can hear my mother's voice in the back of my head telling me that the "L" is full of  pick-pocketers and mean looking bums.   She meant well, as always. But believe me she ingrained it in my head, my knuckles were white from clutching my purse too tight the first time I got out of my train ride.

What worried me when I first got here is that would be pick-pocketers would spot the train newbie - ME.  Geez, I can see all of you imagine me looking the very part of a frightened short girl.  Trust me, I didn't look the part of the frightened nervous "fresh off the boat" girl from Guam. I think. The reason?  I learned how to blend...FAST. 

I am sure that there are many, like me,  who come from small islands, cities, or towns that will want to live the big city life and will use the trains and buses.  Why not? It's the best way to get from Point A to Point B.  Here are some of my "blending" tips that I hope will help.

Tip 1. Don't tell everyone this is your first time riding the train

Notice this is number 1.  This spells "gullible" and alert hoodlums around you.  This never happened to me but I swear I see many people announce how excited they are to be on the "L".  For the most part, people in the Chi are friendly but believe me I've seen them hoodlums try to be the friendly adviser too.  Hold your excitement, you might find yourself lost in the West Side of the Chi.

Tip 2  Enter "Blank Stare" zone

 Ok, this is my favorite.  I get into this state almost instantly.  I mastered it.  You don't want to get caught staring at somebody.  So the best way to handle this is to avert your gaze into a spot that you can stare at for a loooong time.  In some cases, when the train is full and your crammed into the car, fix your stare to the side of someone's shoulder or the train advertisement. You'll get into the "blank stare" zone fast.  When you're there, you won't feel obliged to talk to somebody or fumble for your phone, you can easily get into 100 conversations with the little voices in your head. Believe me, my little voices entertain me enough.

Tip 3  Your cellphone is your ally


When you're tired from entering the "blank stare" zone, there's always another way to get connected without getting into a long overdrawn conversation with somebody on the train.  Your cellphone.  Go ahead and tell everybody in Facebook you are on the train and you haven't been pick pocketed.  You can be excited there. Or you can pretend you're texting or listento music just like the regular commuters. Or probably, if you have an ancient cellphone like me,  you can try to strain your neck to listen to the "girl with the cellphone" by semi-entering the blank stare zone.  For those that do not know her, I described her in detail in my previous blog.

Tip 4  Stand like you mean it

This is a challenge.  You can always tell someone who is a train newbie by the way they stand in the train.  Make sure you hold on to something and don't lock your knees.  Ladies, I know we try to look cute sometimes by posing (I do that sometimes) but believe me we won't look cute if we fly across the train and smack against an angry commuter.  Well, if you fly across the train into a shocked handsome man that would be a different story but reality is even the Prince Charmings in a crowded train don't want to get smacked into. So stand like you mean it. No need to look tough or vigilant, just hold on to something.

Oh and by the way, while you do all these tips make sure you have your purse in front of you.  For the men, I have no idea how you keep your wallet safe.  Just know a brush on your rear doesn't necessarily mean you have a nice butt.  It could be somebody pick-pocketing you.